Scars

She grew up abused.

Not physically,

But verbally.

Her scars were deeper

than the eye can see.

It took an effect

On her life.

Words are like a knife.

They cut deep, if not used properly.

It was her own blood

Who made her ashamed,

Of her body,

Her looks,

Her beauty within.

They stripped that of her

Took it away, without her permission.

Cuts heal,

But the scars left behind

Will always remind her

Of the torment,

And neglect.

Love is what she longed for,

But she knew

Her beauty, were her scars.

It shaped her,

Molded her,

Made her into the masterpiece she is.

The scars of her beauty,

That no one can take.

 

Oldies.

So I’m young, but I’m really interested in the old age if that’s how you refer to it. Basically I feel like I should have been born way back, like around 1920s or even in the 60s. I really love reading & movies, so they make me think like this. I’ve recently just seen the movie, The Great Gatsby in high school I’ve read the book. But the movie, wow was it amazing. Many people think that it shouldn’t have been turned into a movie. I think it was excellent and Leonardo DiCaprio played that part well. I sorta wish I was in the movie. It made me reread the book. Another movie that I would love to be in, is The Breakfast Club , since my 20 yrs on this earth I’ve heard of the movie, but never payed mind to watch it. That movie was awesome !! I do have a question tho , did Claire and John do it ? That part of the movie confused me.

Anyway, just a random post of interest.

Overreacting …

I think many of us has overreacted about a situation. We over analyzed it too much, or we think about the situation to hard, when its never that serious. Like myself, my last post Lost I mentioned how me and my best friend stop being friends. Well that actually happened in my mind. We stop being friends for seven hours, how ridiculous of me to overact like that. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who does this or happened to. On a brighter note me and my best friend are in fact still friends. 

Lost ..

Me & My best friend has been friends for so long that we made a promise to never stop being each other friend. I’ve always told people promises are meant to be broken , so I’ve never did the whole promise thing. Well today she broke that promise and told me she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. I’m going crazy like I don’t know what to do, she’s the only true real friend I’ve ever had. As I’m sitting here typing this, tears are rolling down my face. Nobody understands like my family is never there for me like she is. I actually feel like they don’t give a sh*t about me sometime. But I have to pray on that.

I’m never going to have a friend. I already have trust issues and I think this made it worst. I’m just sooooo sad the only thing I can do is blog about it. Why does friendship have a big impact on people ? I’ve never really got it till now, but why do I feel this way ? Why can’t I move on ? So many questions I’m asking my self. Only time will tell. I don’t even know if I can be her friend after this. It feels so real, how will I ever get over it, Without me feeling like it’s fake. It won’t be the same ever. I’m just going to have to pray on it. That’s the best that I can do. Man I love blogging away my feelings.

Ugh I hate feelings.

The word “NO”

Is it hard for you to say no ? For me it’s too hard. It’s like I explain myself instead of saying no. I don’t directly say no, only because I hate to hurt someone feelings. I really hate when people tell me no too, it pisses me off. I rarely ask people for anything but boy when they tell me no I go off. This was jus one of my random thoughts. Just say no to drugs & alcohol and all that other bad stuff. ( did I just contradict myself ? )

Question to the Public.

So I have this problem. I can’t deal with, but I’m trying.

My little sister lost her virginity. Nobody knows, but me. She doesn’t even know that I know. I was on her phone and I was going through her photos and stuff. I came across some screenshot, between her and her best friend. Before I get to what was said in the text, my sister is 16 years old. I’m not sure at what age your suppose to lose your virginity (because I am a 20-year-old virgin), but I know that its one of those special moments in your life that you cherish. Back to what the text said ….

So this story has been in my drafts for so long. I’ve never finished it because I don’t know how to or how I feel about the situation. I mean what is the correct age to lose your virginity ? Theres no real answer to that. The reason I’m still a virgin… I don’t even know the answer to that. But is there  an appropriate age to lose your virginity ? I’m curious to what others think. Please leave comments

Time ..

I really wanted to make a commitment to doing this blog & blogging everyday. I failed miserably. Well now I have plenty of free time to do this.

Random Thought

Why do we have feelings ? Sometime I wish I can just push my feelings aside. I wanna be numb to the world and feel nothing. Feelings are so dum ! Why must a soul get excited to then feel hurt. At least get rid of my feeling to love. Love will get you killed. That feeling when someone doesn’t love you back. Ooooh what a feeling it is. It’s terrifying, nobody wants to feel unloved. That’s probably the worst feeling ever. Next to abandonment & being Lonely. Those words are probably siblings.

Feelings …. Who cares ?!

Whatever.

Trust

Hard to gain

Easily lost

Something everyone lacks

Its lost in society

Not even man itself can obtain it

Trust only in ones self

Bullshit

The type of person that I am, I treat people the way that I would want to get treated. Now don’t get me wrong if somebody disrespect me. I’m going to come at them correct and let them know what it is. My whole thing is what do people get out of by being mean to people, making them feel bad and hurting their feelings ? My feeling be so hurt because it be people that know you the best to sit there and hurt your feelings. I’m a sensitive person and I sometimes don’t let people know how I feel, so I give them that “I DONT CARE” attitude. Then they be all in my face like why you act like you don’t care. It cause when I do care I’m showing weakness for somebody to throw something up in my face. I’m so tired of people and their bullshit. 

Hurting someones feelings isn’t good. The next day that person could be gone and you’d be so devastated because the last thing you remember was hurting their feelings and know that you cant take it back. Be careful how you treat people, life is too short really ! Just apologize and get over it. Forget your pride, don’t lose a friend over something petty.